Sunday, May 30, 2010

Writer's Block

“Once upon a time, in a land far away…

“A long time ago, far, far away.

“Down the street from…”

“Cursed be every Muse that ever messed with my head!” The exasperated writer threw slips of paper with a vehemence that shot them across the room, which any writer knows is difficult with how frustratingly light paper is.

It had been quite an evening for Arenda Plythe. Actually, it had been a trying year, but the day itself had set upon a mission to cruelly destroy every shred of hope and joy that had ever made her smile.

She had opened her eyes that morning with a start. She carefully stretched herself awake, so as not to disturb the epiphany she had received in the night. Tenderly slipping out of her sheets, she moved toward her computer, grasped it, pulled it onto her lap, and triumphantly held it to her.

“YES!” she shrieked. Thankfully, her apartment was surrounded by real estate’s curse- empty apartments- and no one heard her.

Emily Alfet had been haunting her for years, but it was this year that her publishing contract depended on a great story, and it was this year that she had lost her abilities. She could not, for the sake of her life, think of what had happened to Emily Alfet, or what should, or could happen to her. She could not even force herself to begin the tale.

She had been having dreams of the lovely Emily Alfet. A spoiled daughter of Alfred Alfet, she did nothing but attend balls, premieres of movies, and the numerous other functions that debutante’s had the opportunity to grace with their presence.

Arenda despised Emily with the passion of a woman wronged in some grotesque fashion. All that she had ever done is exist, but to exist in Arenda’s mind and never allow her to grasp why, was a crime of gigantic proportions, at least for a fictional character whose sole purpose was to express Arenda’s creativity. Worse than this heroine’s defiance, however, was her actual being. This spoiled girl had invented herself for no other purpose but to torture her creator. Emily had become a reality for the purpose of driving Arenda completely and entirely insane.

Arenda knew this now. It had been six days short of a year since Emily had come into Arenda’s life, and every other character had disappeared from her musings. Emily possessed her, demanded to be placed in a story, yet eluded Arenda on every front. What other explanation could there be for these actions? Every poet had some amount of madness within, right? So maybe this is where that came from. Perhaps every poet was plagued by some weapon of his daemon. Perhaps every poet was destroyed by his own Muse.

Against all odds, Arenda was about to defy these poetic bounds. Today she was inspired. She knew what to do with the infuriating character she knew exactly…wait. Arenda had gotten so lost in her excitement that she had forgotten every word of what had come to her regarding Miss. Emily Alfet, heiress extradoinaire. And so she had come to the frustrating state she was in on this lovely fall day.

The morning had blossomed into daytime, and daytime into afternoon, blurring every hope Arenda had of writing a first draft for her publisher. She had made every attempt she could think of to bring back her Muse, but it had left, with a decided flounce and slam of the door.

She wandered around the park, turned upside down in a mockery of yoga positions, twisted into a pretzel, prayed for an hour, sat with her journal in her lap, for hours. She had procrastinated before, waited so many days, thinking she had time before the deadline. Now there were six days left, and she knew it was necessary to begin the story, but she couldn’t. Her Muse had caught her into the most ridiculous web of deceit and superficiality and all she could think of was…shopping.

Perfect! She could experiment with the character by living her life for a day. It would be incredible, spending what little bit of money was left in her account, which was exactly…none. In fact she was in debt up to her eyeballs. Oh well, isn’t that what credit cards were invented for?

Arenda prepared quickly for a day of shopping, dressing in her only pair of enormous fur boots, a pair of skinny jeans, and one of a limited edition coat from a batch made by Prada. She had gotten these for a commercial she had done months earlier when she was desperate, but the use she had prepared for them today was much more honorable.

She walked out the door with her overly practiced model walk and strolled out to Saks Fifth Avenue.

Three hours later Arenda tried to shrug off the disgust she felt at herself. She had shopped for hours, no regard for money, no regard for anyone. She had been rude to employees. She had been more selective about her clothes than she ever would have been in her life. She had seen it done in movies, as all have, and she had always wondered what it would be like to have no care in the world for anyone or anything but yourself. She was not prepared for what it would do to her. She was consumed by this feeling of utter despair. She could not put her finger on the reason why until she faced herself and what she had allowed her self to be for the day.

Flashbacks assailed her of all the events that had passed, and she began to feel sicker and sicker. Finally, she traced it all back to the reason why. She had changed who she was for a day, for a character, for nothing more than a character who persecuted her every night and every day. Slowly, a just and overpowering hatred for Emily Alfet welled up in the remorseful heart developing deep in Arenda’s chest.

She sat to write.

“Emily Alfet was a selfish, spoiled debutante. She had never worked a day in her life, and everything she ever wanted was given to her on a silver platter.” So the war began between the selfish character and the author who hated her.

It would become Arenda’s greatest novel, but as she sat typing today, she did not know that. Her consuming hatred of all she had discovered in herself came out in her interactions with the Muse and Emily Alfet. She related the characteristics of Emily Alfet, the despicably worldly circumstances that had led her into the being she was today, anecdotes of Emily’s destructive behavior on the worlds of romance, business, friendship and family.

But one day, Emily Alfet faced trouble. This was Arenda’s triumph. It was the moment she had been waiting for from the beginning of Emily Alfet’s tale. A man clad in black approached behind Emily, knocked out her bodyguard, and kidnapped the spoiled debutante, while she was on her way to the concert after-party of the year.

Arenda stared at the screen with a feeling of smug satisfaction at the woe she would wreak in the life of Emily Alfet from here on out. Looking at the clock she realized that she had been working from seven o’clock Sunday until seven o’clock Tuesday with barely a break in typing. They say that hatred is like love, because they are both a consuming, passionate emotion towards another. If love make you do crazy things, hatred had worked this magic for Arenda Plythe. She had eaten little and slept none as Emily Alfet’s youth had unfolded on the page. Each word had come from some worthy anger in her that lent itself to a passionate writing surpassing that of anything she had ever written before. But now it was time to sleep.

She slept for the twelve hours of the night, waking up in a sleepy stupor of one who has waited far too long for sleep, but her spirit had become mild in the night. A peace lay over her as she held her newly fixed mug of English tea and prepared to write.

A golden sun filtered through the brown leaves outside her window, bathing her studio apartment in a glow of majestic purity. Her fingers caressed the keys as she typed out the rest of Emily Alfet’s fate and she slowly breathed in a redemptive air.

Emily Alfet was one of the most despicable characters the Muse had ever bestowed on man. She was a shallow, superficial, selfish human being, but under the terrifying circumstance of her kidnapping, the seed of honor deep within revealed itself and began to appear.

Arenda related the story of the terror that Emily Alfet felt. First, there was the indignance of a rich young woman who wants nothing more than to go home, but as she realized that these men would kill her if her father did not hand over money to them a keen reality set into her spirit. Something about the realization that death is approaching changes what a person is willing to do.

The men killed children, women, the weak, the innocent, while the heiress Alfet looked on, at first with trepidation, then with great anger and sorrow. Her story became one of human triumph as Arenda moved her towards the rescue of a helpless victim of the men’s cruelty. It was their business to make money, and Emily shared something in common with every victim they chose. They all had grown up with an excessive amount of money, little education, and all they ever wanted.

When it came time that the criminals would meet Alfred Alfet, he insisted that he speak to his daughter before he would turn over the ransom. Instead of begging for her life, she begged her father not to give them a cent. She begged him, and told him as quick as she could of the horrors they were guilty of. One of the men grabbed the phone away from her, hitting her in the face with it in a rush, and on the other side of her man punched her in the stomach and tangled her arm within his. His finger pointed into her face, breaking every “personal bubble” that she had ever possessed. He leered at her with a face of hatred and putrid perversion that superseded any evil she had ever seen.

Emily Alfet came into her true role as heroine when she rescued the children hidden in her kidnappers house. Through flying bullets and the terrors the brutal men wreaked on her, she brought women and children into a safety for which they could never have been more grateful. The story ended. Emily was bent and broken but transformed. She was a new human being. The superficial character that had come to life by Arenda’s pen had woven herself into a new existence. She had become the virtue that she lacked, and had taken on a new identity.

As had Arenda Plythe. She rested back in her chair and gazed at the screen. She lifted the mug to her lips, knowing full well that it was empty. Meditatively she touched the cup with her fingers, feeling within the transformation that had occurred between her spirit and Emily Alfet’s. She had found redemption in the work that had pursued her for the year. She had found redemption the object of her hatred. The Muse had worked a war on the two of them that would never cease its work on the two women engaged in its battles, and from that war and its loving outcome proceeded Arenda’s fame, and the humility that would maintain her spirit. It was the mystery behind Arenda Plythe’s great career as poet and author.

The End

Monday, May 24, 2010

Review of Wendell Berry's "Given"

Given manifests Wendell Berry’s talent at its poetic heights, drawing the reader further and further into the magical world of the real. It is a compilation of short poems about every aspect of life, from cathedrals to dust motes, a dramatic poem, and his “Sabbath poems.” The compilation moves from the simplicity of everyday life, to the mysteries of the eternal, entangling its reader in the majesty the Berry is able to portray.

The first sections of Given “In a Country Once Forested” and “Further Words” are composed of short, simple poems, yet somehow a tremendous meaning is portrayed in these slight tributes to life. The Cathedral is “Stone/of the earth/made/of its own weight/light” and All “bend in one wind.” These are two full poems both manifesting symbolism despite their smallness. The trick of many of these short poems is that their meaning surpasses the full understanding of the reader encompassing mystery that allows the reader to enter into contemplation of the words and their meaning.

Berry masterfully wraps his reader into the fullness of contemplation in the third section of Given, “Sonata at Payne Hollow.” It is the tale of two ghosts who were wedded in life, but consumed by something beyond themselves as well. They were enchanted out of themselves by the contemplation of nature and the world. Harlan is consumed by wanderlust and Anna is caught up in the beauty of his wanderer’s soul. In Harlan’s yearning for solitary wonderment, he realizes that the perfection he would reach alone is not as perfect as the “imperfect union of two,” which he engages in with his wife. The wonder of this poem of love between humans and nature wraps the reader into the world of contemplation that Berry expresses throughout his writing.

The last journey that Berry guides his reader to is the depth of peace following contemplation. “Sabbaths” is a collection of poems from his Sunday walks over the years. The reader experiences the sensation of wandering in the beauty that he has been caught up in with Berry’s mountain of wonder. The climax of the “Sonata” lends itself to a gliding journey downwards and a peaceful exit of the land that Wendell Berry has Given to his reader.

Wendell Berry’s Given is a journey that Berry wishes to guide his people in. The world of simplicity lends itself to the wonder and contemplation that he intends to bestow and illustrate. The quest is to receive fulfillment, to know beauty, to be blown away by all that one sees, and to therefore live true joy. It is Berry’s gift to his reader, bestowed in a tender love for nature, the world and the reader, a joy that overflows from his own heart into the spirit of those receiving his gift. It is an experience that should be lived and not simply read, an exploration of the soul and world that should change the one who encounters its beauty.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Hope

It may be said that love is a myth, beyond the really real,
That perhaps the selfless love of truth and forms
Passes out of human existence. That perhaps the love
I sing weaves itself through human dreams,
And says goodbye. Leaving dreams to be all they are,
Dreams. Not a true way to live one's life.
Not the way to pursue all and every moment.
I say no. I say something in life is love,
Something to be led, something to be made,
Something to endure, and live, and bear with pain,
Something to be, in all you are, something to be
In all that is, but never just a dream-
Unless dreams are simple happenstance,
the greatest gifts in life, truer than all else,
If dreams are thus, then let me pursue the dream of love.
Let me live its every care, let me explore its every ode
To every human being, Let me be love,
Let me live love, Let me Love, let me love Love
And in the loving, let me live, and let me illuminate Love,
Let me illustrate love, let me bring all to Love's illumination,
Illustration, Let me bring the mystery of love
To the handwritten blossoms of love's labour.
Let me live love in the page, and let the glory of love never fade.
But let love be love in love's own page, and in love's own way,
May love's fair road be paved
in the souls of all those who say,
They will hope.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Ghost of The Duchess


















Moonlight misted in around her form as the shadowed one entered.
Victorian garb of ebony whispers and silken scarlet welcomed the journey of the night
To come, in every man's sight, every man sitting in the pub on a moonlit night,
Every man prepared for twilight but never for the midnight brought by the mysterious
Lady in ever-changing attire. Ebony milk rustled into the room that night,
Intentions never clearer, yet never more mysterious than in the darkest, deepest night.

Mist dissipated throughout the room, until she closed the door on outside's midnight,
Entering in her own loveliness, sublime intensity raging in every motion made,
Towards the bar she entered, not a word, every mishap, every happenstance lingered
Reliant on her touch. Breath itself held in dimensions unknown, for fear of disapproving glance,
A dart that would cease life, to wilted roses bring the peonies of springtime, nighttime
To the brightest day. Her lips began and all whispered into dust of happenstance long past.

Stillness stayed despite the breath of her request. Bartender stood in obedience rapt with fear
of unabate. He has no knowledge of the poor man she sought. Terror may consume him,
But all would turn him in, had they heard of him. Anton Reaion, she said, two words,
A request and demand brought silent terror on each, for everyone knew they must reply,
And no one knew the reason why, but to satisfy the Lady of undefined stature,
And mysterious grace of sable duchess with scarlet threat poised in every motion.

But wait, a tear, the monster of ebony and red breaks, but holds high her honor.
A bloody sun sets in the opaque eyes she closes from the shattering, felt in the core of all surrounding men. Air crackles with the glitter of her pain, once known, but now remembered.
And sublimity becomes ghostly melody. Some protection afforded by elegant disaster.
A broken heart hidden by the majesty of someone only known as something more.

Sublimity the melody of hidden walls of passion closed. Sublimity all affording
Protection from all recalling darkness of her day. Better never known of pains untold,
He who entered place of ill renown, never to depart, pilfering her heart of every joy.
Fidelity disgraced in place ill-known, adoration misplaced in girl ill-found,
Yet in all her life the duchess mourned, and prayed for his lost soul. And wandered all eternity
Every night, in the temple to disgrace, to beg for prayer for he who lost all grace.

The duchess sainted with tragic melodies, mourned eternally the tragedy of love misplaced,
Her selfless heart trembled with the overload of grace, pouring in from above to beg her for him
To pray, for the wronged and the mourning in prayer can bring forth more than any.
Then, for him she pleaded night and day, through time eternal, from yesterday, to every day,
Everlasting quest, each night, she comes, she pleads. She asks his name, that he may in no case
Ever be forgot, and remembered be, for all these prayers she sought.

But in sable scarlet whisper she must come with grace, of upheld honor, and defining face,
Majesty of some sorrow beyond the understood. A Battle in full waged within her soul, and yet,
She ne'er allowed the ill one to take o'er, but sought in time to bestow her power,
Breaking heart heard each night below their bower, shattering felt in glasses heartfelt shower,
Prayers ellicited by the whispered words, Mother Mary, let them all be heard.
And so she fades into the dark midnight, and begins her quest again, to bring him to the Light.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Poems of Nature's Beauty

The first seems hypocritical, since I am writing on a computer now, but it is the preparation for the truest sentiments revealed in the second poem.

Industry
What is the magic of a machine?
Functionality incarnate, utilitarian usage,
What merit is in that?

What beauty can be found in a plastic box?
Holds everything but deadens all,
Why would we accept that?

What functionality engages the mind,
In faithful commitment to nothingness?
What hell-bound trap is that?

Nature
Do you ever get over-whelmed
by the beauty of life?
Can you smell the blossoms
of winter spring?
Do the stars lean to your embrace
and get welcomed by your returning kiss?

If not, where do you get caught up?
Why do you let everyday disturbances
Soil the life you live?
Will you let Him entrance you
With the wonders He bestows?
The Rain of all His blessings and grace?
Will you let Him wander into your soul?
Will you bend the knees and let your love go?
Soar to Him in His wonder?
Let Him wander in your winded soul.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Dark Light-Part I

The whispers of a faint breeze caress the wisps of hair that fly behind me in the wind. I breathe within the smell of willow trees and honey all around me. This meadow has been my home for the summer. I have made some visits to the house that sits peacefully in the distance, but I find myself at peace surrounded by the daisies and the wheat fields.

I am wearing a sun-dress, a white flowery thing given to me by my grandmother. She is the one who brought me here. After all that happened, she wanted to bring me to a place where I could give all of my worries to the air, and the breeze, and in time be restored to some semblance of myself. But what she never expected, had no way of knowing, was the magic in the trees, the peace that would rise in my breast every night as I gaze upon the stars, the magic I would sense in the day-breeze on my face. The sunbeams embrace my pain and melt it away, the breeze lifts my soul into some existence far beyond the superficial one I made for myself.

So, in my grandmother’s love, and the retreat she created for me, I have been able to reside in true joy, a happiness I never knew I could feel. But, how could I reach this point. Something that must be understood is the ability of darkness to be the light. Not many men recognize the importance of paradox in human existence, but I have journeyed into the ebony black corners of a human life, and I now know the meaning of darkness. Only with help could I leave the abyss in which I was imprisoned, but I now know the mission of my life.

You see, we all ask why are we here? Everyone wants to know their purpose in life. But it is in the most truly horrifying moments of life that one discovers the true end to their quest. It is when the test is completed that one sees the two paths she could have chosen, and sees the evolution of her true self in the face of danger. I wouldn’t have told you months before now that I would believe in a purpose to life. I would never have said that darkness had a purpose. For in that time darkness ruled my existence, but now I’m in the field of daises, and I have freedom.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thursday, May 6, 2010

There are times



There are times when I am surrounded by all that is not illustrious,
When bonds and chains shackle me to the grounds of this-worldly things,
Duties and livelihoods consuming my mind, the Muse is stifled by my own will.
In my mental journey I must fly from there into the cedar descent from trees,
Where bonny red and yellow leaves, fall around the oaks and aspens,
Weeping Willows stream their chorus and trickle into the stream.
But somehow I am curled up into the base of a tree,
Furry boots encompass my tender toes, and gloves bind my hands,
But my hand writes, my words paint into the musings of my mind,
And the Muse paints the image I reside in.

Poetry, my mind asks, my mind engages, my mind encounters,
The word, the meaning, the life, the musing melody,
Musing maybe it is time to live the melody,
Maybe live the tender embrace of noon time fall day
Maybe August, October melodies of fallen leaves and whistling wind
Beckon me to seek some Higher Power of passion and melody
But maybe my mind escapes me and imagination dominates
But for a while, whose time passing day did decree time would allow,
For time's sad predicament of passing by all the time
Did still leave it time to be in me, for now.