Today, in a class I have on Christ and His Church, we were discussing Deus Caritas Est. In the Eros section, our professor mentioned the fault of being "in love with love." That struck a chord with me, because I am so enthusiastic about love and all that it is and all that it means. Later, I was speaking to a most respected priest about "being in love with the idea of love" and he said, "Love is not idea, it is a person-that is God, and you can be in love with Him all you want. Of course, this lent itself to further scrutiny because both seemed to contradict themselves. However, it seems to me that the solution lies in "loving Love" not "loving love" and realizing that you are "loving Love" rather than simply loving without this awareness.
I have found in my own life that is easy to fall in love with the idea of love in the sense that a conversation about "eros" would be speaking of. Women in general fall into this easily. It is a pleasant experience to have one who gives himself to you. He dedicates himself to you in a particular way, and promises to love you always. Every woman wants that. Women are naturally very loving and as such, have a great need to BE loved. Therefore, it is easy for women to fall into an emotional attachment to being "in love" but they will never be satisfied by this "feeling" or situation because no human person can ever fulfill all the loving that needs to be given to a human heart-it is only in God that one can find that everlasting exclusive love that one desires.
That, however, was not the chord that our professor struck with me when he spoke of being in love with love. It was what he was speaking of, but what occured to me was-is it possible for one to be in love with the idea of TRUE love-Agape love, God's love, for I have found in myself that tendency. I love love, the idea of giving of self fully to another(to God and to God through another human being.) I love the idea of unity and all that God commands us to with other people. However, it seemed to me that something was amiss in the way in which I saw this being "in love with love." It is in that mystery that I found Father's words to be helpful.
The problem with "loving love" even if it is holy love is that one may fail to realize Who one is loving. It is easy to love the idea of how love exists or could exist in the other person and fail to realize that what you are seeing is not necessarily that quality inherent in the person. You are seeing God and Who He acts in, and how He acts in them. It is something so much more powerful, but that much more difficult to recognize. The flaw in viewing it as simply an "idea" is that it can become something that is no longer particular to that person. It is a presence of something that you love in that person, but it is no longer that person that you love. However, if you realize that you are viewing God in that person, then it is possible to love many people in that way-to view God's presence in them and realize that it is Him working in them and them allowing Him to do so. This understanding attributes the virtues of the person more to God, and realizes the limitations of the person as well and that they are simply allowing God to work in them. Recognition of the limitations of other people is beneficial because it prevents one from expecting another person to be fully like God. It also allows you to recognize the limitations of your love for that person and recognize its true foundation, as well as to see what it is that you truly do love in that person-that they are allowing God to work in their lives. Thus, one can truly love others for what they are doing and accept the flaws which they possess at the same time.
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