God

What would it be were I to whistle

Some sweet new song of daily sighs?

Would wrens rain down upon the water?

Would rainclouds dance upon the sky?

Where would I find what I look for?

Some new sought sound or silent roar.

Would I find my way in the break of day?

Would the sigh of rain brush pain away?

Why would I seek so much more to find?

So much beyond the gifts I have

Would I be peaceful if giv'n all?

Would waiting weeks wither fall?

No, he said, not ever

Would I find if I always sought.

For in this life we never

Know what it is we want.

Here

Here I sit,

Underneath

The leaves of trees

The blossoming rays of light

As the day approaches

The darkness

Of the night.

Here I sit,

Alone in peace

With my quiet prayer

With sun and tree and the blue sky

As my heart approaches

The peaceful

Time of light.

Here I sit,

Awaiting it

For only He may know

The time and what it will be

That in time approaches

To make me

Then at peace.

Here I sit

now knowing

That before that time

I must be alone with him

For holy reproaches

Will make me

Yield in time.

Here I sit

Times later

knowing now the rhyme

That melody of which He whispers

for grace approaches

in violent waves

And signs.

The End

The Silent Stream

What is this still, unspoken tear?

The steady stream which flows

Forth in peaceful sorrowing

And subtle pain bespeaks?

Why doth this tear restrain itself

In peaceful medley run

Like lost deer in ethereal wood

With a concern for none.

For sobbing sorrow rends the heart

But shallow pain it is

Compared to the transcendent soul

That releases pain in this.

A sea serene and peaceful is

Inside the deepest soul,

Yet a wound doth pierce a depth

That ever goes unknown

But somehow even in the strife

A smile could be won,

A natural love and tender touch

And all that could be prized

But a true and silent glance

At the deepest sea of soul

Portends the moans inside.

But why do deepest sorrows

Consist in only this?

While sobs proceed from shallow pricks

And from paper-cuts blood streams,

The stranger wound is one who lets

Solely the silence speak.

The depth of pain could be much more,

Or perhaps exist as less,

And the peace itself could think

That this sorrow is less.

But why does this tear speak so still

And stream so steadily?

For perhaps it knows all will be well,

And sees it’s Remedy.

The Works of God

I took this picture at a Retreat last year, at Camp Cloverleaf-Lake Placid, FL. Just this week it won first place in the "When I Behold the Works of God" Nature Photography Contest-judged by professional Naples photographers.

Made to Be

A maiden may sing a melancholy melody

of maybes and babies and made for metaphors.

Maybe she'll sing of the whys and the wherefores

But where does she sing her truest melody?

Maybe she'll fall bit by bit into love

Maybe she'll be lost into all that may be above

But truly therefore she'll sing to love.

In Love with Love

Love is a topic that I find most inherent in the human person, and in my own life. It is a subject which I explore extensively, and hopefully will be the subject for my Thesis at Ave Maria University. That being said, it is highly probable that many blog posts will be on love, philosophical and theological aspects of it-my assimilation of all that I learn regarding it.

Today, in a class I have on Christ and His Church, we were discussing Deus Caritas Est. In the Eros section, our professor mentioned the fault of being "in love with love." That struck a chord with me, because I am so enthusiastic about love and all that it is and all that it means. Later, I was speaking to a most respected priest about "being in love with the idea of love" and he said, "Love is not idea, it is a person-that is God, and you can be in love with Him all you want. Of course, this lent itself to further scrutiny because both seemed to contradict themselves. However, it seems to me that the solution lies in "loving Love" not "loving love" and realizing that you are "loving Love" rather than simply loving without this awareness.

I have found in my own life that is easy to fall in love with the idea of love in the sense that a conversation about "eros" would be speaking of. Women in general fall into this easily. It is a pleasant experience to have one who gives himself to you. He dedicates himself to you in a particular way, and promises to love you always. Every woman wants that. Women are naturally very loving and as such, have a great need to BE loved. Therefore, it is easy for women to fall into an emotional attachment to being "in love" but they will never be satisfied by this "feeling" or situation because no human person can ever fulfill all the loving that needs to be given to a human heart-it is only in God that one can find that everlasting exclusive love that one desires.

That, however, was not the chord that our professor struck with me when he spoke of being in love with love. It was what he was speaking of, but what occured to me was-is it possible for one to be in love with the idea of TRUE love-Agape love, God's love, for I have found in myself that tendency. I love love, the idea of giving of self fully to another(to God and to God through another human being.) I love the idea of unity and all that God commands us to with other people. However, it seemed to me that something was amiss in the way in which I saw this being "in love with love." It is in that mystery that I found Father's words to be helpful.

The problem with "loving love" even if it is holy love is that one may fail to realize Who one is loving. It is easy to love the idea of how love exists or could exist in the other person and fail to realize that what you are seeing is not necessarily that quality inherent in the person. You are seeing God and Who He acts in, and how He acts in them. It is something so much more powerful, but that much more difficult to recognize. The flaw in viewing it as simply an "idea" is that it can become something that is no longer particular to that person. It is a presence of something that you love in that person, but it is no longer that person that you love. However, if you realize that you are viewing God in that person, then it is possible to love many people in that way-to view God's presence in them and realize that it is Him working in them and them allowing Him to do so. This understanding attributes the virtues of the person more to God, and realizes the limitations of the person as well and that they are simply allowing God to work in them. Recognition of the limitations of other people is beneficial because it prevents one from expecting another person to be fully like God. It also allows you to recognize the limitations of your love for that person and recognize its true foundation, as well as to see what it is that you truly do love in that person-that they are allowing God to work in their lives. Thus, one can truly love others for what they are doing and accept the flaws which they possess at the same time.

All Above-A Soft, Sweet Love

Wisps of clouds bud orange, blue, white,

Here are soft layers that fly

They stretch below me, soft love below me in the sky,

Fading, misting, my window to the lights.

Twinkling tales of lives below the night,

A house, men’s work-a-day, everyday jobsite

A sole, tall steady one, standing tall and bright

It must be of great import, this one great light.

Fields upon fields spread dark like the night

Hiding who knows the kinds and forms of life

Trees perhaps, and creeks, may be scarcely out of sight

In a darkness not of evil, peaceful dark of night.

Ascend again, look to the sky above the night

Dark blue fades, day nears twilight,

Soon a star will twinkle in the night

Mother Goose rhyming her ode to stars so bright.

Yet on such a one, peaceful night

Love of Him whispering to the seeker’s sight

It is missed by some, the many who are blind,

This soft sweet love of a winter’s twilight.

A Home for The Wanderer

The night is a time when thistles grow,

When close kept coons and reindeer tiptoe,

And when such things are all about,

The time rings out to abandon thought,

To approach slumber in the sandman's arm,

And ward off all fears and dreads of man's harm.

But it is in the silence of this night

That I myself find strength to fight

The demons that pursue the quest I lead

To learn who I am in word and deed

They overtake and blacken the vast night sky

But never will I allow them to make me not try.

So I begin this now on a mission for self

For self and perhaps for somebody else

For the one who will read and understand

Of for one who must needs depart for strange land

For there is a mystery I wish to convey

Not here but in something more, maybe, someday.

It lies within reach, I look forward to't

But at times I wonder if I could ever do it.

My artist's heart is wounded by trying too hard

Yet without previous labor I could not reach this far.

So, I engage on this mission, to whittle away

The flaws I fear dearly in name of someday.

So, listen my friends, if willing you may be,

If it please or changes you as it did me

I hope wonder shall come with each passing glance

And I hope for our for hearts, mind and body to dance

And help me to see, Lord, in each day I'm beckoned

And in each word printed make me Your servant.

I embark upon this journey of blogging because I know I am imperfect. It is my wish that in writing everyday, or at least frequently, that I will learn. I wish to write my soul, and I wish to write my God. I wish to paint pictures in the air for all to see. I wish to bring wonder to those who cannot see it, and restore it to those who are too tired to look for it. Most of all, I wish to see it myself. It is a gift, a blessing, that I have been given that I never want to lose. Forever I want to see some sort of magic in a bird that sings, a woman that cries, the trees that whistle. I never want to lose a childlike sense of wonder at every moment I am exposed to and I never want to give up my pursuit of art and its gentle mystery. So, wish me luck as I embark on this quest, I believe in some way that this time is my test, but I enjoy the intrigue of each moment's release and I ask that journey's blessings always increase.

Amen.